Defend Your Sweet Spot
Spending time on projects that he considered unimportant was driving Carlos* insane. Carlos is an excellent leader. He’s turned around every business that he’s led and the people who work for him are...
View ArticleThe Best Strategy for Reducing Stress
Imagine you’re sailing in the Bahamas, sipping a cold drink and listening to the water lapping the sides of the boat. Relaxing, right? Not for my friend Rob.* Rob is not usually stressed-out. For many...
View ArticleWho Are You Really Mad At?
A man and two children, a boy about nine and a girl about seven, were walking ahead of me in silence. The boy looked up and said something to his father. Whatever he said set off his father who started...
View ArticleThe Reverse Psychology of Temptation
“Oh this is delicious, Peter. The ice cream is homemade, the perfect consistency, And this lemon cookie on top, mmmmm. Are you sure you don’t want some?” Tom* smiled devilishly as he reached across the...
View ArticleThe Right Way to Speak to Yourself
“Who can tell me what holiday is coming up next week?” Dorit* looked around the room at the circle of six year olds, almost all of whom raised, or rather waved, their hands eagerly. I was with my...
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What to Do When You Have to Work With Someone You Don’t Like
see photosBrand New Images/Getty ImagesClick for full photo gallery: The 13 Most Frustrating Coworker Types And How To Deal With Them Jeff*, like me, is a writer, a speaker, and the head of a...
View ArticleHow to Respond to Negativity
“I’m getting to the end of my patience,” Dan,* the head of sales for a financial services firm, told me. “There is so much opportunity here — the business is growing, the work is interesting, and...
View ArticleIf You’re Too Busy to Meditate, Read This
This morning, like every morning, I sat cross-legged on a cushion on the floor, rested my hands on my knees, closed my eyes, and did nothing but breathe for 20 minutes. People say the hardest part...
View ArticleCan You Admit What You’re Feeling?
Hurricane Sandy was barreling towards the coast and the news reports were grim. This would be the worst storm to hit the Northeast region since, well, maybe ever. A confluence of factors—it was...
View ArticleDo You Really Need to Say Thank You?
John, the CEO of a sales organization, sent an email to Tim, an employee several levels below, to complement him on his performance in a recent meeting. Tim did not respond to the email. About a week...
View ArticleConsider Not Setting Goals in 2013
“Sophia, Daniel,” I yelled across the apartment at my seven-year-old and five-year-old who were playing together in their bedroom. “The school bus arrives in 10 minutes. Let’s see who can brush their...
View ArticleStop Focusing on Your Performance
The night before our wedding, Eleanor and I stood awkwardly in the center of a large room, surrounded by our family and our closest friends. There was no particular reason to be uncomfortable; this was...
View ArticleNine Practices to Help You Say No
Irene* is a great colleague. A senior manager in a large consulting firm, she pitches in when the workload gets heavy, covers for people when they’re sick, and stays late when needed, which is often....
View ArticleHow Not to Lose a Sale
Robyn*, a close friend of mine and senior leader at a large pharmaceutical company, referred me to work with Dan, the CEO of one of her company’s subsidiaries and someone she knew well. She would...
View ArticleHow to Use Temptation to Strengthen Your Willpower
I was running a leadership offsite at The Allison Inn and Spa in Oregon — one of my favorite hotels — and the food, as always, was exquisite. The carrot cake at lunch was so delicious that I ate two...
View ArticleWhy You Should Take The Blame
I was at a party in Greenwich Village in New York City. It was crowded, with about twice as many people as the space comfortably fit. There was a dog in the mix too. But it was a casual event and we...
View ArticleThe Unexpected Antidote To Procrastination
A recent early morning hike in Malibu, California, led me to a beach, where I sat on a rock and watched surfers. I marveled at these courageous men and women who woke before dawn, endured freezing...
View ArticleThe Most Overlooked Leadership Skill
Even before I released the disc, I knew it was a long shot. And, unfortunately, it was a clumsy one too. We were playing Ultimate Frisbee, a game similar to U.S. football, and we were tied 14-14 with a...
View ArticleWhy So Many Leadership Programs Ultimately Fail
The topic in the Executive Committee meeting turned to Europe. The technology company, Alentix*, was doing well and growing annually at the rate of about 15%. But its European division was struggling....
View ArticleThree Qualities Every Leader Needs To Succeed On A Team
“I want your help developing my direct reports into stronger leaders,” John* the new CEO of Fasseni, a $350 million technology company, told me several years ago. Initially, I approached the request...
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